1. When a customer demands instead of politely requesting.
There is nothing more rude, degrading, and just mean-sounding than when someone says "Get me a Coke." rather than "Could I have a Coke, please?" I mean, we're going to grant your wish to the best of our ability either way, but to ensure that your beverage is actually Coke and not a mixture of hatred, saliva, and watered down Coke, just throw a 'please' in there and form it as a question, rather than a demand. Our soul purpose as servers is to do just that, serve you! So, yes, you most certainly can have a Coke! But, really, how hard is it to be pleasant to people? If it is genuinely difficult for you to be a nice person, purchase this book- https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Be-Dick-Etiquette/dp/1936976021
2. When a customer assumes you're at fault for everything.
We're just the middle man here. We take the orders and we then give them to someone else whose job is to give us something back to then take to you, see what I mean? We're constantly delivering verbal and sometimes computerized messages, hoping ever so dearly that everything is communicated correctly to ensure that everyone's happy, ourselves included. We don't control how loud the people are next to you, the temperature of the building, the dimness or lack thereof the lighting, but yes, please, keep yelling at me for your steak being too pink! It was totally my fault, considering I make the food and everything else, right? Wrong.
3. When they run out.
At first glance, you're probably assuming this is about when people "dine and dash." Not at all, that doesn't actually happen very often. I chose to word that annoyance very carefully. Rather that writing "When you run out of something," I wrote "When they run out," because I didn't run out of anything, the restaurant did. I just want to emphasize that I am not, nor are any other servers, at fault for the temporary discontinuation of any certain product. But nothing is more awkward than when a customer requests something and you are obligated to inform them that "we are unfortunately out of that right now," and then apologize as if it is your fault. (Annoyance, in this case, that is directed at the manager in charge of taking care of that stuff or the restaurant owner, not the customer). It's even worse when they reply "Okay, well, how about this..." and they're out of that, too... yikes.
4. One table, eighty checks.
When you are "blessed" with a large group dining in and at the end of the night, after conveniently forgetting which lady ordered the Pinot Grigio and Caesar salad which had the Merlot and buffalo chicken wrap, they inform you that they would all like separate checks. Time for twenty minutes of mental back tracking and multiple unnecessary trips to the table asking if there was anything else you could get them before they leave in attempt to see what color the liquid in their glass is.
5. Complainers.
Okay, if something is seriously bad, then I understand, but when I am just doing my job and ask in my sweetest of voices, "How was everything?" and you answer "Not good." like, come on lady, I wasn't really asking. Your plate is squeaky clean and you didn't say anything all night, there is no way I'm knocking forty bucks off the bill because you just now decided that your steak wasn't actually tasty.
6. Outdoor eating arrangements.
When your place of employment has a patio. Need I say more?
7. Indirectly needy customers.
When you were just at a table asking them if there was anything that you could get them, and they refuse your assistance and assure you that they have all that they could ever dream of and more... then five minutes later they conveniently call over your higher-up and ask them if they could get them something that you could have easily fetched for them, making you look like a slacker. Like, come on.
8. When they catch you.
When you fuck up their check and the customer notices it. Yeah, you read that right. I get extremely annoyed when you notice my mistakes. I'm sorry, but it's the truth! Okay, I accidently charged you for a full salad, not a half, so what. Fork up the two dollar difference and let's call it a day. I don't have time to void that off, I have six other tables to tend to.
9. Late arrivals.
When someone has the audacity to walk inside a restaurant at five minutes until closing time, they automatically earn themselves a VIP pass to the deepest and darkest crevice of hell. You just don't do that. Some days I think to myself as they venture in much later than usually preferred, "Well, I don't have a boyfriend or actual plans tonight, so, why not do my best and get some extra cash before I lock up!" but most of the time, I'm thinking "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you die fuck you." and I will NOT be a cheeky and adorable Kenna for them. Side work is a bitch, and we probably already cleaned everything off an hour ago. We've been here since noon, just let us go home and stop by Taco Bell on your way out, odds are they're open (they're, like, always open).
10. Bad tippers.
I saved the best, and most obvious, for last! If you don't tip 25% or more, you are not a decent human being! 20% is nice, but over tipping is wonderful when I just spent two hours kissing your ass. You should always leave a little bit more than expected, depending on just how good the service was. If I refilled your drinks four times, get you salads, bread, apps, entres and deserts, don't leave me $4 on a $90 bill (yes, that situation has happened to me specifically and no, I am not a bad waitress).
For more annoying shit that servers endure daily, check out Cosmopolitan's version at
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a62259/problems-only-waitresses-understand/
