Recently, I have come to realize some beautiful things that I would like to share with anyone to cares to read what I write. Bear with and forgive me if it seems as if these ideas should have effortlessly been grasped as, "common sense." I am still maturing and these are my growing pains.
This, although seemingly obvious discovery, is something very personal for me, and weighed too much on my heart to keep confined within my mind, so I figured I'd restore some Faith in myself and begin writing about it.
Today I decided that, in spite of myself, and everything that I am going through, I am going to be happy. Genuine and without reason. I am going to wake up every morning and I am going to decide to be happy over and over again until it becomes a natural response to whatever the hell kind of curve ball life throws in the strike zone of my fucked up life. I am no longer going to let my emotions run my life; I will never again allow my feelings to drive my actions.
My heart broke, and for three months following I felt like shit. As a direct result of that, I treated people like shit. I did a shitty job at work and I didn't give a shit about my body or my mind (I apologize for all the shit talk).
I was fortunate enough to have somehow fallen into the good graces of some very spiritually powerful human beings that aided me in discovering that I am only as sad as I let myself be; that all I needed to do was decide to be happy. It was THAT simple.
And, just like that, I intuitively became aware of how to handle a kind of sadness that used to baffle and leave me emotionally crippled for months with no end in sight.
It would be easy for me to continue to engulf myself in the heartache of how light my left hand feels without a ring; to thrive on my character defects and yearn for any kind of instant gratification... but one night it hit me harder than any physical blow I had ever endured- Nothing changes if nothing changes. I had become so comfortable within the Hell I created for myself that I had quickly forgotten just how unreasonably beautiful my life is, regardless if my heart is healed or mending.
I had formed a resentment towards the Universe. The Universe that has always been so kind to me- doing for me what I am not strong enough to do for myself. Rather than loving it, I hated it; blaming it for my eternal ache, rather than showing it the gratitude it [the Universe] deserved. I am so ashamed to admit, my glass was half empty.
To attempt to understand the grander scheme of things and why things happen in the world/for what reason, is to accept and embrace insanity with open arms- I no longer question its motives, but rather trust the process. My small, but open mind will never acquire the capacity to know, but will to understand.
Why would the Universe take away something so good, if it weren't going to reward you with something even better? I could hate the world for taking someone from me, or I could continue to take certain steps in the right direction out of respect that I am not calling the shots in this life. I am no longer attempting to rearrange life to suite myself, because when I try to control the show, my self-will runs riot and wreaks havoc on all the beauty in life that is out of my reach, and who am I to play God?
Therefore, today I am happy, and if I am so lucky as to see tomorrow, I will be happy then, too. Not for any particular reason other than I just am.
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Monday, September 5, 2016
10 Annoying Occurrences Only A Waitress Will Understand
Written by a waitress, for a waitress! (Or a waiter, but let's not ruin the sweet, little phrase with gender identity corrections, please). Cosmopolitan recently released an article much like the one I have created for you here, which served as my inspiration and ultimately resulted in my writing this (I thought I could do a better job). If you'd like to check out their article as well, to compare or just for more relatable struggles, I will leave the link below! Now, without further ado, I present to you, my own personally opinionated and self-diagnosed "correct" take on this outlook of the most annoying things that only waitresses/waiters can understand!
1. When a customer demands instead of politely requesting.
There is nothing more rude, degrading, and just mean-sounding than when someone says "Get me a Coke." rather than "Could I have a Coke, please?" I mean, we're going to grant your wish to the best of our ability either way, but to ensure that your beverage is actually Coke and not a mixture of hatred, saliva, and watered down Coke, just throw a 'please' in there and form it as a question, rather than a demand. Our soul purpose as servers is to do just that, serve you! So, yes, you most certainly can have a Coke! But, really, how hard is it to be pleasant to people? If it is genuinely difficult for you to be a nice person, purchase this book- https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Be-Dick-Etiquette/dp/1936976021
2. When a customer assumes you're at fault for everything.
We're just the middle man here. We take the orders and we then give them to someone else whose job is to give us something back to then take to you, see what I mean? We're constantly delivering verbal and sometimes computerized messages, hoping ever so dearly that everything is communicated correctly to ensure that everyone's happy, ourselves included. We don't control how loud the people are next to you, the temperature of the building, the dimness or lack thereof the lighting, but yes, please, keep yelling at me for your steak being too pink! It was totally my fault, considering I make the food and everything else, right? Wrong.
3. When they run out.
At first glance, you're probably assuming this is about when people "dine and dash." Not at all, that doesn't actually happen very often. I chose to word that annoyance very carefully. Rather that writing "When you run out of something," I wrote "When they run out," because I didn't run out of anything, the restaurant did. I just want to emphasize that I am not, nor are any other servers, at fault for the temporary discontinuation of any certain product. But nothing is more awkward than when a customer requests something and you are obligated to inform them that "we are unfortunately out of that right now," and then apologize as if it is your fault. (Annoyance, in this case, that is directed at the manager in charge of taking care of that stuff or the restaurant owner, not the customer). It's even worse when they reply "Okay, well, how about this..." and they're out of that, too... yikes.
4. One table, eighty checks.
When you are "blessed" with a large group dining in and at the end of the night, after conveniently forgetting which lady ordered the Pinot Grigio and Caesar salad which had the Merlot and buffalo chicken wrap, they inform you that they would all like separate checks. Time for twenty minutes of mental back tracking and multiple unnecessary trips to the table asking if there was anything else you could get them before they leave in attempt to see what color the liquid in their glass is.
5. Complainers.
Okay, if something is seriously bad, then I understand, but when I am just doing my job and ask in my sweetest of voices, "How was everything?" and you answer "Not good." like, come on lady, I wasn't really asking. Your plate is squeaky clean and you didn't say anything all night, there is no way I'm knocking forty bucks off the bill because you just now decided that your steak wasn't actually tasty.
6. Outdoor eating arrangements.
When your place of employment has a patio. Need I say more?
7. Indirectly needy customers.
When you were just at a table asking them if there was anything that you could get them, and they refuse your assistance and assure you that they have all that they could ever dream of and more... then five minutes later they conveniently call over your higher-up and ask them if they could get them something that you could have easily fetched for them, making you look like a slacker. Like, come on.
8. When they catch you.
When you fuck up their check and the customer notices it. Yeah, you read that right. I get extremely annoyed when you notice my mistakes. I'm sorry, but it's the truth! Okay, I accidently charged you for a full salad, not a half, so what. Fork up the two dollar difference and let's call it a day. I don't have time to void that off, I have six other tables to tend to.
9. Late arrivals.
When someone has the audacity to walk inside a restaurant at five minutes until closing time, they automatically earn themselves a VIP pass to the deepest and darkest crevice of hell. You just don't do that. Some days I think to myself as they venture in much later than usually preferred, "Well, I don't have a boyfriend or actual plans tonight, so, why not do my best and get some extra cash before I lock up!" but most of the time, I'm thinking "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you die fuck you." and I will NOT be a cheeky and adorable Kenna for them. Side work is a bitch, and we probably already cleaned everything off an hour ago. We've been here since noon, just let us go home and stop by Taco Bell on your way out, odds are they're open (they're, like, always open).
10. Bad tippers.
I saved the best, and most obvious, for last! If you don't tip 25% or more, you are not a decent human being! 20% is nice, but over tipping is wonderful when I just spent two hours kissing your ass. You should always leave a little bit more than expected, depending on just how good the service was. If I refilled your drinks four times, get you salads, bread, apps, entres and deserts, don't leave me $4 on a $90 bill (yes, that situation has happened to me specifically and no, I am not a bad waitress).
For more annoying shit that servers endure daily, check out Cosmopolitan's version at
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a62259/problems-only-waitresses-understand/
1. When a customer demands instead of politely requesting.
There is nothing more rude, degrading, and just mean-sounding than when someone says "Get me a Coke." rather than "Could I have a Coke, please?" I mean, we're going to grant your wish to the best of our ability either way, but to ensure that your beverage is actually Coke and not a mixture of hatred, saliva, and watered down Coke, just throw a 'please' in there and form it as a question, rather than a demand. Our soul purpose as servers is to do just that, serve you! So, yes, you most certainly can have a Coke! But, really, how hard is it to be pleasant to people? If it is genuinely difficult for you to be a nice person, purchase this book- https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Be-Dick-Etiquette/dp/1936976021
2. When a customer assumes you're at fault for everything.
We're just the middle man here. We take the orders and we then give them to someone else whose job is to give us something back to then take to you, see what I mean? We're constantly delivering verbal and sometimes computerized messages, hoping ever so dearly that everything is communicated correctly to ensure that everyone's happy, ourselves included. We don't control how loud the people are next to you, the temperature of the building, the dimness or lack thereof the lighting, but yes, please, keep yelling at me for your steak being too pink! It was totally my fault, considering I make the food and everything else, right? Wrong.
3. When they run out.
At first glance, you're probably assuming this is about when people "dine and dash." Not at all, that doesn't actually happen very often. I chose to word that annoyance very carefully. Rather that writing "When you run out of something," I wrote "When they run out," because I didn't run out of anything, the restaurant did. I just want to emphasize that I am not, nor are any other servers, at fault for the temporary discontinuation of any certain product. But nothing is more awkward than when a customer requests something and you are obligated to inform them that "we are unfortunately out of that right now," and then apologize as if it is your fault. (Annoyance, in this case, that is directed at the manager in charge of taking care of that stuff or the restaurant owner, not the customer). It's even worse when they reply "Okay, well, how about this..." and they're out of that, too... yikes.
4. One table, eighty checks.
When you are "blessed" with a large group dining in and at the end of the night, after conveniently forgetting which lady ordered the Pinot Grigio and Caesar salad which had the Merlot and buffalo chicken wrap, they inform you that they would all like separate checks. Time for twenty minutes of mental back tracking and multiple unnecessary trips to the table asking if there was anything else you could get them before they leave in attempt to see what color the liquid in their glass is.
5. Complainers.
Okay, if something is seriously bad, then I understand, but when I am just doing my job and ask in my sweetest of voices, "How was everything?" and you answer "Not good." like, come on lady, I wasn't really asking. Your plate is squeaky clean and you didn't say anything all night, there is no way I'm knocking forty bucks off the bill because you just now decided that your steak wasn't actually tasty.
6. Outdoor eating arrangements.
When your place of employment has a patio. Need I say more?
7. Indirectly needy customers.
When you were just at a table asking them if there was anything that you could get them, and they refuse your assistance and assure you that they have all that they could ever dream of and more... then five minutes later they conveniently call over your higher-up and ask them if they could get them something that you could have easily fetched for them, making you look like a slacker. Like, come on.
8. When they catch you.
When you fuck up their check and the customer notices it. Yeah, you read that right. I get extremely annoyed when you notice my mistakes. I'm sorry, but it's the truth! Okay, I accidently charged you for a full salad, not a half, so what. Fork up the two dollar difference and let's call it a day. I don't have time to void that off, I have six other tables to tend to.
9. Late arrivals.
When someone has the audacity to walk inside a restaurant at five minutes until closing time, they automatically earn themselves a VIP pass to the deepest and darkest crevice of hell. You just don't do that. Some days I think to myself as they venture in much later than usually preferred, "Well, I don't have a boyfriend or actual plans tonight, so, why not do my best and get some extra cash before I lock up!" but most of the time, I'm thinking "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you die fuck you." and I will NOT be a cheeky and adorable Kenna for them. Side work is a bitch, and we probably already cleaned everything off an hour ago. We've been here since noon, just let us go home and stop by Taco Bell on your way out, odds are they're open (they're, like, always open).
10. Bad tippers.
I saved the best, and most obvious, for last! If you don't tip 25% or more, you are not a decent human being! 20% is nice, but over tipping is wonderful when I just spent two hours kissing your ass. You should always leave a little bit more than expected, depending on just how good the service was. If I refilled your drinks four times, get you salads, bread, apps, entres and deserts, don't leave me $4 on a $90 bill (yes, that situation has happened to me specifically and no, I am not a bad waitress).
For more annoying shit that servers endure daily, check out Cosmopolitan's version at
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a62259/problems-only-waitresses-understand/
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Rubbed Raw and Reeling
I cannot believe that I am actually writing about this, but I was advised to write about what I know, and as of lately, this seems to be all I know. So, here I am, Kenna Foster, and overly emotional and constantly on-edge eighteen year old girl, writing about how I just got completely dumped on my ass (for my reader's pleasure, of course). Do I even have to say 'Enjoy'?
One moment while I take a sip of my diet ginger ale and allow my finger tips to dance smoothly above the keys of my lap top until I find the words I'll use to create an image of what exactly I'm feeling... *ooo, that's refreshing*
Now, where was I?
Very recently, the best person in my life turned out to be the worst, and now I'm left to manually and single handedly repair the damages that were created over the course of a year.
I've never been known to handle serious situations very well, or to react appropriately at all, for that matter. What is normal for me is extremely odd for the rest of the world, and although that has attracted myself an awful lot of unwanted attention in the past, it is one quality that I, interestingly enough, genuinely adore about myself. I'm a ticking time bomb that everyone is constantly checking over their shoulder to see if I am about to explode, and I do not intend to disappoint my audience.
Immediately after my last break up with what I believed at the time was the love of my life (athletics), I made the spontaneous and arguably poor decision to tattoo my number on my ankle... so, naturally, I did something along the lines of that action after this break up, as well (professionally done this time). After receiving my newly symbolic tat, and even throwing in a facial piercing into the batter of ingredients for a deliciously new Ken, I began thinking: If I were to react appropriately (which I obviously wasn't, it was already too late for that) how would I react? After commitably loving someone for such an extensive period of time, and then one day he, to everyone, especially my, surprise, shouts "nerve mind!" in my face as he forcibly kicks me in the ovaries and runs away holding hostage the last year and a half of my life and most personal experiences, what is the "appropriate" way to react to something like that? (Not literally, obviously, but the kick to the vagina would have hurt much less than this, but I can only imagine). That is when I realized: our actions, when reactionary, are not in our best selves. Which, for those of you with a slower mentality of comprehension of the English language, means that there is no "right" way to react to things! Reactions are just these little bubbles of emotions that expand over time as situation after shitty situation presents itself unexpectedly into your life, and eventually pops at the hand of whatever occurrence finally got to you the most; and this was that for me. Therefore, I haven't been in the wrong all these years of over/under (and various other directions) reacting, although I cannot argue that it hasn't been entertaining to watch.
I can confidently say that I have never felt hurt this intense in my entire life (even the nose piercing felt better than missing him, and that hurt like hell). I know, wholeheartedly, that I am going to be okay. I am going to be just fine without him, and that's good, but that also scares me, because what if that's all I ever am again? To the best of my ability, I am just fine? It is a frightening thought, but one that, with a little hard work and a lot of fake smiles, can be overcome with ease. I've just got to let time take it's time, and I'll be all right eventually.
I know this isn't going to be as it is inaccurately portrayed in films; there will not be a mute slide show where the sounds of everyday life is masked by a choice of background music to set the inexistent tone presenting little shots of me keeping myself busy with healthy actions and then twenty four seconds later I'm over him and a better version of who I originally was. I know I won't accidentally and conveniently bump into him at the grocery store while looking amazing and he'll realize he was wrong for leaving me and beg for my love again. (Although there is a small amount of hope in my heart that some crazy, movielike shit such as that will occur, of course. I'm a writer, therefore I'm doomed to be a hopeless romantic for the remainder of my existence, but I'm a little smarter than that... only a little, though).
Breaking up is, according to Neil Sedaka, hard to do. I call shenanigans to that statement, Niel! It isn't hard at all to say "It's not you, it's me" and deliver a swift uppercut to the self esteem all the while the poor dumpee could have sworn that their significant other was madly in love with them, blind to the troubles they've been unknowingly struggling through in their relationship. No, breaking up is not hard to do. It's getting dumped on your ass that stings a little, being left on your own to refigure out who you were before you committed to a year of emotion devotion and sex with only one person is hard to do, not breaking up with someone (sorry to tear your song title apart, Neil).
At the end of the day, I just have to remind myself of the lack of relationship I am currently in when I make the routine decision to dial the number that is unfortunately burned within my memory as I lay down to go to sleep. I have to remind myself that our first meeting was anything but cute, we never had a romantic first kiss, and I don't remember if we ever even went on a first date (basically, we were doomed from the start). I often times throughout the day have to look my reflection in the mirror and attempt to convince myself that I am not damaged or devastated, and kick myself in the butt for even temporarily believing so. I have to remind myself that the right guy (or girl) would love the things he hated about me, that I am too lively to be half loved and worth more than second thoughts and 'maybe's.
Loving someone is so beautiful, but so is moving the fuck on with your life after the bittersweet realization that the love is unrequited.
One moment while I take a sip of my diet ginger ale and allow my finger tips to dance smoothly above the keys of my lap top until I find the words I'll use to create an image of what exactly I'm feeling... *ooo, that's refreshing*
Now, where was I?
Very recently, the best person in my life turned out to be the worst, and now I'm left to manually and single handedly repair the damages that were created over the course of a year.
I've never been known to handle serious situations very well, or to react appropriately at all, for that matter. What is normal for me is extremely odd for the rest of the world, and although that has attracted myself an awful lot of unwanted attention in the past, it is one quality that I, interestingly enough, genuinely adore about myself. I'm a ticking time bomb that everyone is constantly checking over their shoulder to see if I am about to explode, and I do not intend to disappoint my audience.
Immediately after my last break up with what I believed at the time was the love of my life (athletics), I made the spontaneous and arguably poor decision to tattoo my number on my ankle... so, naturally, I did something along the lines of that action after this break up, as well (professionally done this time). After receiving my newly symbolic tat, and even throwing in a facial piercing into the batter of ingredients for a deliciously new Ken, I began thinking: If I were to react appropriately (which I obviously wasn't, it was already too late for that) how would I react? After commitably loving someone for such an extensive period of time, and then one day he, to everyone, especially my, surprise, shouts "nerve mind!" in my face as he forcibly kicks me in the ovaries and runs away holding hostage the last year and a half of my life and most personal experiences, what is the "appropriate" way to react to something like that? (Not literally, obviously, but the kick to the vagina would have hurt much less than this, but I can only imagine). That is when I realized: our actions, when reactionary, are not in our best selves. Which, for those of you with a slower mentality of comprehension of the English language, means that there is no "right" way to react to things! Reactions are just these little bubbles of emotions that expand over time as situation after shitty situation presents itself unexpectedly into your life, and eventually pops at the hand of whatever occurrence finally got to you the most; and this was that for me. Therefore, I haven't been in the wrong all these years of over/under (and various other directions) reacting, although I cannot argue that it hasn't been entertaining to watch.
I can confidently say that I have never felt hurt this intense in my entire life (even the nose piercing felt better than missing him, and that hurt like hell). I know, wholeheartedly, that I am going to be okay. I am going to be just fine without him, and that's good, but that also scares me, because what if that's all I ever am again? To the best of my ability, I am just fine? It is a frightening thought, but one that, with a little hard work and a lot of fake smiles, can be overcome with ease. I've just got to let time take it's time, and I'll be all right eventually.
I know this isn't going to be as it is inaccurately portrayed in films; there will not be a mute slide show where the sounds of everyday life is masked by a choice of background music to set the inexistent tone presenting little shots of me keeping myself busy with healthy actions and then twenty four seconds later I'm over him and a better version of who I originally was. I know I won't accidentally and conveniently bump into him at the grocery store while looking amazing and he'll realize he was wrong for leaving me and beg for my love again. (Although there is a small amount of hope in my heart that some crazy, movielike shit such as that will occur, of course. I'm a writer, therefore I'm doomed to be a hopeless romantic for the remainder of my existence, but I'm a little smarter than that... only a little, though).
Breaking up is, according to Neil Sedaka, hard to do. I call shenanigans to that statement, Niel! It isn't hard at all to say "It's not you, it's me" and deliver a swift uppercut to the self esteem all the while the poor dumpee could have sworn that their significant other was madly in love with them, blind to the troubles they've been unknowingly struggling through in their relationship. No, breaking up is not hard to do. It's getting dumped on your ass that stings a little, being left on your own to refigure out who you were before you committed to a year of emotion devotion and sex with only one person is hard to do, not breaking up with someone (sorry to tear your song title apart, Neil).
At the end of the day, I just have to remind myself of the lack of relationship I am currently in when I make the routine decision to dial the number that is unfortunately burned within my memory as I lay down to go to sleep. I have to remind myself that our first meeting was anything but cute, we never had a romantic first kiss, and I don't remember if we ever even went on a first date (basically, we were doomed from the start). I often times throughout the day have to look my reflection in the mirror and attempt to convince myself that I am not damaged or devastated, and kick myself in the butt for even temporarily believing so. I have to remind myself that the right guy (or girl) would love the things he hated about me, that I am too lively to be half loved and worth more than second thoughts and 'maybe's.
Loving someone is so beautiful, but so is moving the fuck on with your life after the bittersweet realization that the love is unrequited.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Five Reasons to Swipe Left
After recently and unfortunately re-entering the world of modern "dating," I made the cliché and completely predictable decision to create a Tinder (strictly out of dedication to writing this article, of course. Okay, and maybe a couple other reasons, as well). The concept, although visually judgmental and objectifyingly shallow, is surprisingly exhilarating and flattering. I have been a somewhat avid Tinder user for about a week now, and I already feel as if I know the ropes in such a way that I would be of benefit to guide those of you who clearly do not. In conclusion, here are the Top 5 Reasons to Swipe Left. You can use this as a tool or guide when creating and going about utilizing your social media as well as choosing who to swipe right to! Enjoy and you're welcome.
1. If he/she only has ONE picture of themselves.
We need more than that! We can't see your personality, and Tinder is soulfully based upon snap judgements of people's appearances, so give a girl (or guy) a couple options. If someone is interested enough to view your profile, rather than immediately moving onto the next potentially eligible bachelor/etter, they deserve to receive a visual taste of what you actually look like, and a person cannot decipher that based on only one photograph (even if it one really good pic, it just seems kind of cat-fishy when there isn't a selection). I'd recommend a minimum of three selfies, maybe one of you holding your pet, or just any animal, an action shot of you playing your favorite sport, anything! Just as long as there's more than one, for the love of God.
2. If all the pictures they have are of them (somewhere) and a group of people.
Tinder, as stated in the previous paragraph, is based off of snap judgements. I, and no one else, is going to take the time to go through each photograph and figure out which one individual, out of the ten pictured, appears repetitively, just NO! Why would I waste my time when I could just move onto the next? Exactly. And I get it, some people just have no interest in or haven't yet gotten involved in the whole "selfie-movement," and just personally prefer not to take pictures of themselves, I understand that... but get off Tinder, then, this is no place for you.
3. If their bio describes their political views.
If I see a guy, or girl, that I am visually interested in right off the bat, and I take the time and energy to move my thumb up and click to view, and the first sentence of your bio is "If you're voting Hilary gtfo" or "Trump supporters...leave" I am going to punch myself in the throat for even considering you as a decent one night stand. This is a place that emphasizes initial attraction, potential hook-ups, and possible love! Leave your political views out of this, everyone is allowed an opinion, and although you may disagree on some things, such as politics, that doesn't necessarily mean that two people are not compatible. Don't ruin the chance of something amazing just because you really wanted Bernie Sanders to win the 2016 election (like, same, but there's a time and place).
4. When they have no bio at all.
They say a picture speaks a thousand words! Well, whoever "they" is, they're wrong. It definitely doesn't, at least not in this case. So take ten minutes of your life and set it aside, you're obviously not that busy to begin with if you're on Tinder, and come up with 2-5 sentences that gives the person perusing this wonderful invention of social media an idea of what exactly they're agreeing to.
5. When they have a pic/multiple pictures of them and (obviously) and ex (or current) girlfriend/boyfriend.
I know its hard for some people, of either gender, to sometimes find a photo of them that they genuinely like of themselves. Like I said, not everyone enjoys snapping selfies every day after they get all done up. So for some, the only self-declared acceptable photograph(s) they have are those taken by others, which usually means they are accompanied by another person, often times resembling a significant other. I mean, maybe if you want to send the whole "I'm totally emotionally available" vibe, which could work, maybe, but that's not really what the majority of Tinder users are looking for. As soon as I see a pic with a person too close in distance to be a cousin or sibling, I (you guessed it) swipe left!
I hope this proves to be helpful, even if only a little bit, and if not, I hope you at least enjoyed reading this! Now, go edit your Tinder profiles and think a little more carefully before swiping right next time.
Let me know what you think in the comment section below!!!
1. If he/she only has ONE picture of themselves.
We need more than that! We can't see your personality, and Tinder is soulfully based upon snap judgements of people's appearances, so give a girl (or guy) a couple options. If someone is interested enough to view your profile, rather than immediately moving onto the next potentially eligible bachelor/etter, they deserve to receive a visual taste of what you actually look like, and a person cannot decipher that based on only one photograph (even if it one really good pic, it just seems kind of cat-fishy when there isn't a selection). I'd recommend a minimum of three selfies, maybe one of you holding your pet, or just any animal, an action shot of you playing your favorite sport, anything! Just as long as there's more than one, for the love of God.
2. If all the pictures they have are of them (somewhere) and a group of people.
Tinder, as stated in the previous paragraph, is based off of snap judgements. I, and no one else, is going to take the time to go through each photograph and figure out which one individual, out of the ten pictured, appears repetitively, just NO! Why would I waste my time when I could just move onto the next? Exactly. And I get it, some people just have no interest in or haven't yet gotten involved in the whole "selfie-movement," and just personally prefer not to take pictures of themselves, I understand that... but get off Tinder, then, this is no place for you.
3. If their bio describes their political views.
If I see a guy, or girl, that I am visually interested in right off the bat, and I take the time and energy to move my thumb up and click to view, and the first sentence of your bio is "If you're voting Hilary gtfo" or "Trump supporters...leave" I am going to punch myself in the throat for even considering you as a decent one night stand. This is a place that emphasizes initial attraction, potential hook-ups, and possible love! Leave your political views out of this, everyone is allowed an opinion, and although you may disagree on some things, such as politics, that doesn't necessarily mean that two people are not compatible. Don't ruin the chance of something amazing just because you really wanted Bernie Sanders to win the 2016 election (like, same, but there's a time and place).
4. When they have no bio at all.
They say a picture speaks a thousand words! Well, whoever "they" is, they're wrong. It definitely doesn't, at least not in this case. So take ten minutes of your life and set it aside, you're obviously not that busy to begin with if you're on Tinder, and come up with 2-5 sentences that gives the person perusing this wonderful invention of social media an idea of what exactly they're agreeing to.
5. When they have a pic/multiple pictures of them and (obviously) and ex (or current) girlfriend/boyfriend.
I know its hard for some people, of either gender, to sometimes find a photo of them that they genuinely like of themselves. Like I said, not everyone enjoys snapping selfies every day after they get all done up. So for some, the only self-declared acceptable photograph(s) they have are those taken by others, which usually means they are accompanied by another person, often times resembling a significant other. I mean, maybe if you want to send the whole "I'm totally emotionally available" vibe, which could work, maybe, but that's not really what the majority of Tinder users are looking for. As soon as I see a pic with a person too close in distance to be a cousin or sibling, I (you guessed it) swipe left!
I hope this proves to be helpful, even if only a little bit, and if not, I hope you at least enjoyed reading this! Now, go edit your Tinder profiles and think a little more carefully before swiping right next time.
Let me know what you think in the comment section below!!!
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Eat Your Art Out
One day while in the art room, I believe it was my freshman or sophomore year of highschool, Mr. Kerns played a Ted Talk, as he did religiously in order to inform his students of certain topics and to educate them while they went about creating art. I’d say confidently that throughout my four years here at Buckeye I have listened to well over one hundred Ted Talks, but this specific one really stuck out in my memory. I remember it really touching me on an emotional level, which eventually lead me to this article. It was a speech given by Ken Robinson, an English author, speaker, and professor of arts education at the University of Warwick, on how schools are killing creativity.
That got me thinking. Every educational system in the world has the same exact hierarchy of subjects, as Robinson pointed out during his speech. There’s math and science and history, next are the languages and humanities, then at the bottom are the arts. I’d say mathematics is fairly important, but so is drawing. No school in the universe teaches drawing daily and as diligently as they teach math. And why is that, exactly?
Robinson said, in a speech he wrote in 2001, “Creativity now is as important in education as literacy, and we should treat it with the same status.”
This made me think of a quote by Picasso, “Every child is an artist, the problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” This coincides with the Robinson’s point exactly, he believes passionately that we do not grow into creativity, we grow out of it, or rather we are educated out of it.
“If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original,” Robinson said. “By the time they [children] become adults, most kids have lost that capacity. They have become frightened of being wrong. And we run our companies like this. We stigmatize mistakes. And now we’re running national educational systems where mistakes are the worst things you can make.” The result is that we are ultimately educating people out of their creative capacities. All children have tremendous talents, and we squander them, pretty ruthlessly.
Senior Ariana Zingales, one of Buckeye’s many artists, said that she will most likely not be attending an art college out of fear that she will not have an idea of her plans after graduating art school.
This is a major factor that all students are contemplating when deciding which college and what major, but this is a constant concern for artists. You have probably, if an artist of any genre, been steered away from focusing on certain things that you like on the grounds that “You will never get a job doing that.” I can’t even begin to fathom an estimate of how many times I have been told that. It is a piece of advice so profoundly mistaken that people everywhere are trying and succeeding, attempting and failing, proving people right and wrong. The world is engulfed in a revolution.
Gillian Lynne, a British ballerina, dancer, choreographer, actress, and theatre/television director, was a precocious dance talent from a young age. Her parents were told early on by her teachers that they believed she had a learning disorder. They, instead of putting her in a slower program, enrolled her into a dance school.
After her first day of attending a school of various types of dance, they asked her “What happened?” as any caring parents would wonder aloud. Lynne’s response was, “I cannot tell you how wonderful it was. I walked into this room full of people like me. People who couldn’t sit still. People who have to move to think.”
This is a perfect example of how society’s fixation on people’s academic ability is so incorrect, based off of the main subjects they are establishing one’s intelligence. This leads people who are brilliantly talented not to realize their brilliant talent because they failed a math test or something like that. Their skills are not valued in an educational setting, therefore they classify themselves as shortsighted.
This reminded me of a quote by Albert Einstein where he said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
As Robinson said, “I believe our only hope for the future is to adopt a new conception of human ecology, one in which we start to reconstitute our conception of the richness of human capacity. Our education system has mined our minds in the way that we strip-mine the earth: for a particular commodity. And for the future, it won't serve us. We have to rethink the fundamental principles on which we're educating our children.”What I've Learned Throughout High School
As someone who has endured more than my fair share of experiences, both positive and negative, throughout my four years here at Buckeye High, I have taken it upon myself to condense all the things I have learned into one article for my reader’s pleasure. These are just a few of the most imperative points that students should definitely pick up before departing from high school and entering the “real world.”
First of all, high school, not just this one, but in general, is breeding grounds for judgement. First impressions, unique styles, different interests, certain mindsets, various skills, etc. These people will judge you for every little thing you do, and there is not one thing anyone can do about it. As cliche as this advice is, just be yourself. People may be a little cautious at first, but they’ll soon develop a deep respect for your ability to stay true and neglect to be concerned with the opinion others have of you. Caring about things that most people don’t acknowledge makes you interesting, and that makes you stand out. Good publicity, bad publicity, whatever. Nobody wants to just blend in throughout high school. Make a statement while you’re here, create something, express your opinion, start a trend, introduce an overlooked activity. Whatever you do, just be bold and don’t stop and wonder what anyone thinks as long as you are pleased with yourself.
Secondly, go to the dances. I don’t care if so-and-so said that they are “lame” or if you don’t have a date, just go. You’ll only regret not going, trust me. Once the instagram activity starts picking up and you’re alone at home watching the news feed grow longer with photos of your peers all done up, you’ll wish you were there. If you go and it isn’t up to par, you are allowed to leave. At least you tried, and most likely got some nice pictures out of it. And who knows, maybe it will be everything that you imagined. Dances are a traditional part of one’s high school experience and it would be a shame to miss out! Plus, student council works pretty hard planning and setting up, so just go to the school dances.
Another thing I’ve learned during my stay here at Buckeye is that social media is essential, but deadly. Nowadays, teachers have twitter pages where they “tweet” the homework and websites for examples of problems. People use social media to stay “in the loop” and to be notified of what theme whichever sporting event everyone is attending is that night, which is convenient when you just can’t remember if it’s a blackout or strictly beach attire. It can be really handy, but also very dangerous. Some kids these days take it too far. When someone walks in the cafeteria, they won’t see someone getting beat up or a bully taking someone’s lunch money; they’ll see kids looking down at their phones furiously typing with their thumbs. That’s where the torment takes place in high school; online. My advice would be to steer clear of all of that, because high school is hard enough as it is, it’s only harder when it gives people the ability to torture someone behind the screen of a phone. The “likes” and “retweets” just aren’t worth it. Trust me.
One of the most important things someone can do while at school, and you can quote me on this, is pay attention in math class. and, if you hate school and don’t pay attention in any subject, at least pay attention in math. Whether you’re in Algebra, Geometry, Calculus, Trigonometry, I don't care, just pay attention in math class. If you fall asleep or have something on your mind and for whatever reason zone out during your math period, you’re automatically behind like five chapters somehow, it’s crazy. Math is insane nowadays, the teachers have you using numbers to find letters and there’s continuous decimals named after pastries… I have no idea who invented this stuff, but I’ll bet he didn’t even understand it. Sometimes I suspect they’re just making stuff up to kill time, but then it shows up on the test. Take my word for it There’s always that one kid that poses the question aloud that everyone is thinking: When are we ever going to use this? Well, I’ll tell you when you're going to use it. Now. In class. On the test Friday. Regardless if you ever use this outside of school which, depending on your desired field of study, you may not, every student needs a certain amount of math credits to graduate, so you’re using it now. I'll say this one more time for emphasis; Pay attention in math class, kids.
High school is where people begin to find themselves. Students of both genders undergo many changes throughout these imperative four years. In high school, we’re all in high school. That’s it. No one is better than the other. The only problem is that not everyone sees it that way. Girls are ruthlessly mean and boys are incredibly immature. That’s not a proven fact, but an accurate statement. Girls will be nice to you one minute and then flip a switch and become your worst enemy the next. Boys will be polite when they feel it's necessary and when they don’t they’ll be rude. The way people treat each other in high school is very sad, but it’s something everyone has to endure. There’s always going to be someone who just doesn’t like you, and that’s okay, you’re not going to get along with everyone in life, and if you do then you probably have no personality. Just keep in mind that you are not defined by other people’s opinions of you, and that jealousy in not an appropriate reason to dislike someone. Take that advice and you’ll be okay.
Another really important thing everyone should know before they graduate high school is that a starfish is NOT a fish. I know that may sound silly, but it’s really important to know that. The word “fish” is literally in the name, but that’s just false advertisement. A starfish is not a fish! I still can't believe it. You’ll all thank me for this one day, and if not then I apologise for taking up thirty seconds of your life that you used to read this paragraph. For me, I wish someone else had told me this before I entered high school. I had to learn the hard way. Although this may seem like common sense to some people, to those of us who are not very talented in the subject of science, this came as quite a shock! One year I took a class called Invertebrate and Vertebrate, taught by Mr. Koeth (it is a very fascinating class, I would highly recommend anyone take it if they are interested in science or just want that last science credit without taking chemistry). Anyway, he assigned a project where we had to do a report on a fish. Easy peasy I thought to myself, right? Wrong. I so uncharacteristically procrastinated until the last moment to chose a fish that no one else in the class has picked to do their reports on yet, and to my excitement, no one had chosen to do the starfish yet. After presenting my report and awaiting a final grade I finally received my project back with a note that said that I did a lovely job, except for the fact that I didn't do my report on a fish. I failed that project. That is how I learned that a starfish is not a fish. So, if you did know that already, good, you’re one step ahead where I was, and if you didn’t, well, you're welcome.
Another important thing to know when attempting to survive high school is that friends come and go, and often times if they go, they come back. Everyone loves and hates each other, it’s an oddly unhealthy cycle of emotions, but everyone goes through it. I bet you believe that the person who you are the closest to now will remain your best friend from when you begin freshman year to when you graduate senior year, right? Wrong again! From the moment you step foot into Buckeye High School everyone has a new best friend, which, depending on the first letter of your last name, could be one of two people. Throughout high school, your guidance counselor is your best friend, without a doubt. Their job is to make sure you get in, survive, maybe even excel, and get out. They will do anything in their power to help you through any obstacle you face during high school. They are available almost always, and are there for you regardless of everything. Your guidance counselor is definitely your best friend in high school.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, what I have learned while attending high school is that high school doesn’t really matter. Of course, education is key and learning is an incredible luxury, but high school really doesn’t matter. Right now, the most stressful things on your mind are most likely a mixture of what you’re wearing tomorrow, how long of a nap you can take depending on the amount of homework assigned, and who you’re going to prom with. Everything that is important now will not be significant at all in a couple years, and it is important that you know that before graduating because then you will be able to focus all your time and energy on what really matters. Whether it is getting accepted into your dream college, finding a job, saving money, or whatever it may be, your future is the most important thing to you, regardless of who commented what on whose instagram photo, and it is imperative that by the time you are graduated you realize that.
There are a thousand more things we are taught during high school, but I hope this small list helped you even the slightest bit. You are welcome to save a copy and refer back to whenever you begin to lose sight of your purpose here. Good luck to everyone, whether you just got here and are loving it, anxious to become an upper classman, excited to be a senior, or cannot wait to graduate. High school is a major yet small part of life that everyone is required to experience, and with these tips your high school experience will fly by smoother than anyone could have ever imagined.
Cyberbullying: High-Tech Torture
Bullying: teachers preach against it, adults notice it, students endure it. Bullying may as well be a meaningless cliché. It is a term so overused that no one tends to care about or know the baggage it entails. Bullying is so much more than just the daily confiscating of someone’s lunch money or unfortunate adjectives being spat in someone’s face. Bullying has evolved and escalated to a repetitive activity that can take place within any environment without a trace of detection. If proof is found, which can happen, there is really no punishment that can be bestowed upon the bully when taking into consideration the specific circumstances, which is a main reason as to why bullying is something that has been around for centuries and will only progress from here.
Cyberbullying is, by definition, the use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature, but modern bullying is so, so much more than that. Bullying has advanced to a point where it is now lethal, indirect, public, and sometimes even anonymous.
People of both genders are often times reassured that bullying is just a pathetic act triggered by jealousy.
“That sounds great and all and it an easy way to label it,” an anonymous source said, “but that doesn’t make sitting in a class full of people that hate you any easier. It doesn’t make losing friends any easier. It doesn’t make spending your lunches in the library instead of the cafeteria any easier. It doesn’t make your accomplishments and hard work being shamed any easier. But thank God somebody envies you.”
Jealousy is something that, whether or not someone is willing to admit, everyone feels at some point in their life. It’s just human nature, and that is not something to be ashamed of, but the way that most people go about handling their jealousy is what is wrong about it. People need to be taught to accept and embrace their jealous tendencies rather than viewing it as a sin and negatively projecting their jealousy at an innocent person.
“I would be lying if I claimed to have never felt the cold shame of rejection or endured attacks from those who are verbally confident behind the screen of a type of technology, and for the longest time, I neglected to reply with any sort of response at all, refusing to give them what they wanted most of all, a reaction.” said anonymous. “I thought that I was being the bigger person and that the bullying would soon cease to exist out of my lack of participation, but I was incredibly incorrect. The bullying continued, and even increased. By not saying anything I was just making myself an easy target, rather than leaving it to dwindle to insignificance. I eventually learned that, after years of taking [verbal] hit after hit, there is a fine line between stooping to their level and standing up for yourself.”
Remember that time someone betrayed your friendship? Or when your significant other broke your heart? That hurt, didn’t it? They bullied you. If you are someone who has dealt with the hardships much like the examples I gave you, which everyone has, then you know exactly how much, for lack of a better term, it sucked. Therefore, why would you want to purposely inflict that pain onto someone else? What makes this implication of hurt justified in a social setting? There is never an excuse for bullying.
“I will not go as far as to ridicule bullies, because what moral or ethic am I then upholding in my personal sanctification of humanity if I belittle, berate, and dehumanize them as they have done to me?” anonymous said. “What I can say is this; it is never right to treat another human being with unkindness. There is never an excuse for inundated contempt of another person who feels hurt just as you do.”
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